Tales from the Emerald Fountain

Justice & The Devil ~ Bohemian Gothic Tarot

I drew the above heavy duty pair of cards several days ago. Both Majors they were unforgiving, cut me no slack and, sigh, were right on the mark, not to mention this is one of the creepier Devil depictions I've come across. The cards sat on my cotd altar and every time I passed them I could feel their harsh truth boring into my psyche with all the discomfort of cold, hard reality. I went about my day noticing how they reflected my actions in subtle and not so subtle ways. They followed me everywhere and I paid attention as best as I was able.

Quan Yin

But towards the end of the day I'd had enough lol and felt the need to seek refuge with another facet of Truth in the compassion-body of Kuan Yin. I felt like a child running towards her and flinging myself into her arms with relief. She responded unstintingly with a generosity that flowed over me in a healing fountain.

The Kuan Yin Oracle has been off and on my list for a while but recently I decided I needed some luminous energy to balance out all the shadow work decks and oracles I've been working with. Kuan Yin called out and I responded.

This deck by Alana Fairchild and artist Zeng Hao has its pros and cons. This is a far more sensual Kuan Yin than I'm used to interacting with but the luminous quality of the images and the strength of the meditations/visualizations outweighed the issues I have with the, at times, nubile presentation of Kuan Yin offered. And there is surely a place for the sensual mother in my inner-verse. We welcomed each other.

Before I set the cards out formally and worked intentionally with the deck I went about cleaning my Kuan Yin statue which was in need of some attention. This preliminary and very practical time with the Goddess felt like an earthy and fluid reacquainting. It's been a while, I thought, quite a long while if the dust was any indication. Eventually she felt sparkling enough, cleansed enough, purified enough...or was it the Kuan Yin within that felt that way? I was aware of my own inner compassionate and sensual mother as being much in need of polishing and attention, and the awareness that these two faces of the Divine are two rivers flowing towards the same Ocean.

Kuan Yin Oracle

I placed the deck beside Kuan Yin with one of my favorite lotus candles and some crystals and sat back to drink in the equanimity the altar offered. It felt so different to the Tarot cards that were sitting there previously and which still sat on the altar of my heart reminding me of the work I had to do. Yes, time enough for that but supported now by the heart of compassion.

How easy it is to drop into familiar patterns of pleasure and pain, loss and gain, fame and shame, praise and blame. I intuitvely feel the way through these is not by polarizing them but seeing them as different facets of a partial view, a limited perspective. Neither of them are particularly true or solid or static but it's very difficult to hold that kind of awareness in the moment that is flushed with emotion, with heat or ice, with anger or aversion.

Kuan Yin unfolded beautifully at the right moment to show me how this might be done skillfully, with grace, beauty and the kind of strength found in a surrender that yields.

Drink from the Emerald Fountain ~ Kuan Yin Oracle

This card was a jumper as I was formulating my intention...my cry. Entitled, Drink from the Emerald Fountain with its suggestions of thirst quenched, the verdant living earth and, of course, heart chakra energy, it felt like a balm on my soul.

Says the LWB, 'There is nothing to be gained from making life more difficult than it needs to be. When you allow yourself to be helped, great reserves of support become available to you. Your soul is strengthened and nourished by the loving heart of the Divine Mother. You are at a point on your path where you need support to rise up and break through. You are invited to drink from the Emerald Fountain, to accept the love pouring endlessly from the heart chakra of the Divine Mother as it would greatly benefit you even in ways that are not as yet part of your conscious awareness. May your spiritual thirst be sated and may you be supported and assisted by the Mother Divine.'

Silence. Pause. Breathing in. Breathing Out. Taking it in. Can I take it in? Pause. Silence...and more of the same for a while. We see her here in her four-armed manifestation, the male equivalent of which would be Chenrezig or Avalokiteshvara, a deity I have a long-standing relationship with. I often feel a resonance, a symbiosis occurring between Tara, Kuan Yin, Chenrezig, Jesus and Mother Mary as though they're all part of the same tribal body. And here that feels pronounced, as though all five of these bodhisattvas have converged in the river streaming towards me, or in this case in the Emerald Fountain flowing down the mountain of my awareness into the dry, parched, sere places that are in need of sacred waters. The ongoing question is not whether these Guides will respond to my call but whether I'm willing to allow the constancy of their message of love without conditions, without subject or object into the lotus-heart of my own awareness.

Before I go further I want to share something interesting that occurred with this process. I was cleaning Kuan Yin and sharing with my son the history of how this statue came into our lives. I mentioned that we used to be able to fill the flower stem at her shoulder with some water and it would drip down and form a droplet that would increase in size until eventually it released into the open dragon's mouth at her base and to repeat the process all over again. It's been many years since that worked and I assumed it wasn't functional anymore due to a build up of minerals from the water inside the tube that allowed the water to flow, despite many attempts to clean and fix it.

After I had drawn the card and arranged it on the altar to my liking my I suddenly noticed that a large droplet of water had formed...Astonishment...and the synchronicity with the water blessing of the card, the Emerald Fountain, was not lost on me. It felt as if some of those dammed up places within had been cleared simply by polishing off the Kuan Yin of my heart through my attention to cleansing her outer form. A kind of symbiotic, interdependent purification.

The LWB offers a Healing Meditation at the Emerald Fountain. Doesn't that sound lovely and restorative and nourishing? Images of misted bamboo groves full of lush greenery and ancient mossy rocks, silence, spaciousness and pure, mountain air came to mind and I offered myself to the loveliness of this inner atmosphere fully.

Kuan Yin Oracle ~ Drink from the Emerald Fountain

As I allowed the meditation to wash over me I felt the contraction of the earlier part of the day fall away. The quality of light, pronounced and supportive, was predominant as was the color green. I didn't feel the need to do much, to make something happen, rather I sat and took in what was offered. Simple, nourishing, restorative.

My Tarot cards were waiting for me upon my 'return' from the mountain. It's not like their teaching receded into nothingness, more that I could hold them, aka myself, in a more compassionate embrace, the light I shone on them softer and more forgiving.

I didn't come away with any answers, resolve or understanding but instead I came away with something that felt infinitely more valuable, the gift of presence, the experience of being with my shadow in a way that was spacious and replete with equanimity. As though Kuan Yin had her gentle palm on the small of my back supporting me, breathing me and reminding me that compassion, literally with passion, with engagement, with interest, is always the way through.

I shall tuck this experience away for the future to draw from when I need it. In the meantime I drew sustenance throughout the rest of the day from the simplicity of this brief retreat. Things unfolded with more peace, more acceptance, more light. The Shadow, of course, remains but with less stature, less defined edges, less identification. And as the day drew to a close and I shared with my husband some of my process I could feel the shift in my own perspective from one of contraction to one of expansion. Shadow energy was seen, heard then responded to with awareness, something I didn't think I was capable of at the beginning of the day. Much gratitude to Kuan Yin...

Rubedo

Bohemian Gothic Tarot

I love this Queen of Wands and together with the Magician...well, hot stuff can occur if the smoke is any indication. When I look at this pair I think of the fourth and final stage in the Magnum Opus of the alchemical process, called Rubedo which literally means in latin, 'redness'. It signifies alchemical success and the end of the great work. This fabulous Queen is in the world but not of it, the fire around and in her so palpable the air fairly crackles. Even her black cat is keeping a distance. There is an element of isolation that I notice in this card that is perhaps the shadow side of 'in the world but not of it'. Something to be aware of, the tendency to watch rather than participate, to witness rather than immerse. A stance that has its merit though perhaps not for today due to her partner in this pairing.

With the Magician at her side we see the alchemical potential of passion, inspiration, creativity. And yet the temenos is only as dynamic as the will applied to it. Today as I journey with these two compelling figures questions arise for me of where to direct my creativity, my passion. What do I breathe in so as to shape the elements of my reality in a way that supports the trajectory of unfolding. For I am God's Magnum Opus, Her prayer and meditation, each breath a bead She touches and murmurs as my lungs expand and contract around the mirror She endlessly holds to my heart.

Come the Rapture

Bohemian Gothic Tarot

The ideal versus the actual aka wanting it all aka timing is everything. What ghosts from the past are preventing me from embodying the Dance? What unfinished business wants completion? What shaky internal structures are in need of an integrating embrace today? These are the questions I'm journeying with on this mid-October Thursday.

A Certain Slant of Light

Bohemian Gothic Tarot

Working with the BoGo today by Karen Mahony and Alexandr Ukolov of Magic Realist Press. This is such a sumptuous deck. Today's draw features some particularly lovely depictions, the Five of Pentacles and the Four of Swords. Looking at the combo my first reaction was along the lines of taking refuge from poverty consciousness, seeking sanctuary from institutionalized inner structures that don't support our well-being. But as I looked more deeply at the cards I realized that while that was a perfectly acceptable take on the pair it was only a surface take. A little journeying was in order...

Five of Pentacles ~ Bohemian Gothic Tarot

In this Five of Pentacles the woman conveys such pride with her upright bearing, the set of her jaw and firm gaze. She easily encompasses her infant in her right arm and her little girl hanging onto her left hand, almost without awareness of them. The little girl looks very hungry, tired and desperate as the mother determinedly continues forwards past the open door of the institution in which glows a warm, red lantern. Is she aware of the possible refuge there? Is it closed to her? Is she too proud to accept help? The ravens stand in her path, wonderful familiars, guides and bringers of magick but she's unaware of these blessings in her path.

The more I look at this card the more I feel her proud refusal to see the help available which she does at the expense of her children. She has courage and strength but at what cost? Being the suit of Pentacles perhaps some of that earth energy needs to soften and shift a little. And because it's a Five I'm reminded of The Hierophant who is so often associated with institutionalized religious structures. What structures do I have in place that don't serve the unfolding of the Divine? Where do I refuse to seek help?

Interestingly I don't often get such a strong element of willful refusal when I draw this card. Normally I get more of a theme of helplessness, obvious weakness, ill-health and so forth. Not here and I think it's because of her body language, the sense of held breath in her ribcage, her strong, upright jaw, the set of her glance. I imagine on another day I might see this card quite differently but today that's what is being called forth.

Four of Swords ~ Bohemian Gothic Tarot

I'm aware of many of the themes in the Five being repeated here in the Four of Swords--a figure dressed in red, vaulted archways, Raven energy and again a diffuse source of light. There is a receptivity here though that is lacking in the previous card. The Raven familiar is now perched intimately near the figure's knee, the place that bends and allows surrender, allows us to touch the earth, to kneel, to pray. The red clothing suggests that the will is involved but in a more oblique way, it has surrendered to grace, to refuge, to sleep and is worn easily as the drapes and folds spill over the figure and the bed with ease.

Behind the figure a great vaulted room is half-lit, the illumination similar to what might be occurring within. The figure still clasps the sword so there hasn't been a complete surrender of the obsessive thoughts but enough so that they aren't calling the shots. The sword lies between the figure's legs in a fairly suggestive way. Perhaps there is some healing going on within of the inner masculine?

I like to think the woman in the Five has finally found a place where she can allow the internalized institutional structures to fall away a little, that her children--those unpolished, immature parts of ourselves--have been integrated into a self that knows something of surrender, that is now being nourished in the dream realm, immersed in the multi-faceted prism of the sub-conscious so as to bring more light to it upon awakening. And here I feel as the theme of this combo one of my favorite esoteric teachings of Jesus, "suffer the little children to come unto me". It's such a brilliantly pithy example of shadow work. Another word for suffer is to allow, allow all the unpolished parts of myself, the young, undeveloped, hidden-in-the corners, stubborn, unspeaking parts of myself to come forwards, to be embraced in the Heart, illuminated by the Light. Allowing is as simple as becoming aware of all the times I ignore these parts out of pride or will or fear. Becoming aware is sanctuary, refuge from the shadow of neglect. Emily Dickinson names the numinous quality of this process so beautifully...

There's a certain slant of light,
On winter afternoons,
That oppresses, like the weight
Of cathedral tunes.

Heavenly hurt it gives us;
We can find no scar,
But internal difference
Where the meanings are.

None may teach it anything,
'Tis the seal, despair,-
An imperial affliction
Sent us of the air.

When it comes, the landscape listens,
Shadows hold their breath;
When it goes, 't is like the distance
On the look of death.

~ Emily Dickinson ~