Fools Rush In

World Spirit Tarot by Lauren Onça O'Leary

It began with this Fool card from the fabulous, World Spirit Tarot. Musing on the card and its various meanings about innocence, about intrepidness and beginnings and the feeling that there was a kind of sacrilege in not beginning because it denied the gods their due involvement. That idea of denying of the gods stayed with me and continued to resonate. So I decided to do a reading on the subject, felt compelled was more the reality.

Tarot de Marseille by Camion-Jodorowsky 

And this resulting three-card reading had me enthralled. Perhaps it was the nature of my question. Each time I looked at it some new awareness emerged, tangible and intangible both.

I'm digging this Fool's red shoes. Hey now, click them together and there's no place like home. Which he carries on his back, blithe spirit that he is. Hail to thee, says The Empress while his little dog has other pressing matters to attend to. Holding Le Mat back or urging him forwards, it's unclear.

The animal body as guide. Do I trust its instinctual wisdom? Do I experience it as vehicle or impediment? Is that walking stick our Fool carries a support or goad? These are sober, poignant questions because I sense in their answers grief, suffering. What woman doesn't have to come to intimate terms with this collective somatic awakening?

Each of us does, at some point, engage in a kind of reckoning with the body in relation to the culture. More so as we get older as this culture is not kind to women past a certain age. We each come to our own place with it and the phrase, 'let go or be dragged' takes on visceral resonance. Hold on to the external definitions or create your own.

The Empress though, has come to terms with this narrowness of vision. One gets the sense, not that she's above it, but rather that she has traversed its landscape and come out in and as a far more expansive and forgiving vista.

What does all this have to do with my question? Lots and lots because my question, Why do I deny the gods? speaks intangibly to a denial of the body, its needs, its nature, its nurture. And sitting there receiving darshan from The Empress, suddenly I felt a deep shift, tsunami-like, within. My question, Why do I deny the gods?


Because I think I can

God, what an answer. One that came swimming up from the depths because I was patient enough to sit with it, knowing intuitively this 'simple' three-card spread had something vital to tell me. 'Because I think I can'...the wish-fulfilling gem gone awry. Intellectually, spiritually I know this for the hubris it is, the belief in separation it implies.

But emotionally, somatically there is a deep schism. Oy, how to proceed? Start where you are, comes the answer. Start in the midst of your confusion, your hubris, the inner rift. Give it away, don't hold onto it, give it away as a prayer, an offering. Start right there with gentleness, forgiveness and a learning to yield, to accept that the moment is enough, you are enough. Each of us, inside this moment, is complete, whole, enough. No need to deny the moment its due, which is none other than your presence, your attention, your love.

I feel The Fool here, both in the naiveté of my answer and the intrepidness to begin anew. How to respond to the animal wisdom at my back? How to use the staff as support not goad? How to dance with my will? Which, of course, isn't separate from the Beloved's will, ultimately.

Handmaiden of Roses

Mysteries of Mary Tarot by Hettienne Groebler

Today’s draw from the Mysteries of Mary Tarot deck is the Handmaiden of Roses.

Traditionally this is the Page of Pentacles. Here Bernadette Soubirous is portrayed as the Handmaiden. The suits in this deck are based on the cycle of life of the hawthorn tree and by the four stages in Mary’s life; Virgin, Beloved and Bride, Mother, and lastly Mary Sophia, Holy Wisdom

Vessels (Cups) reflects Mary’s life as Virgin, Maiden Mother and Priestess of the Soul. Holy Rood (Wands)reflects Mary as Bride of the Beloved, and the Mystery of the Bride Chamber. Distaff (Swords) depicts the veils of Mary, and Mary behind the veils of existence. Roses reflects the Embodied Mary, the Divine in the manifest, the Gnostic Mary.

I am fascinated by the various strands and personal mythos Hettienne has pulled from and woven into this deck. In today’s card we are shown the spiritual initiate at a particular stage in her archetypal journey of ever-unfolding rose. This journey takes tremendous muscle, commitment, a spacious breath, and a continual attunement to the inner voice.

More and more as I go along I realize it’s not a journey for everyone. And definitely not for the faint of heart. God is only our name for Her and the closer we come to God the more She ceases to be God. In the same way that our ideas about God are limited by our ideas about ourselves.

The Changing Story

Waking into the dark. And there are those few, floating moments of spacious awareness unweighted by the cares and concerns and stories of the previous day. And then awareness-of-self comes flooding back, like a strong body of water surging into my own filling every possible dip and contour with mood and attachment, bias and identification, want and need, weight, gravitas, texture.

The difference between these two states and the moment they collide is dramatic. And this morning the question, who is it who comes rushing back in with what feels like such solidity and completeness? Who might I be without that narrative?

So I got up and holding that question, I moved. In the dark, to the pre-dawn silence, my little dog as witness. And you know, there’s not really an answer to that question, said my bending, swaying, unfolding, gesturing, kneeling, offering body. There is movement and stillness, she said, and you are shaped by that continual exchange. The story is always changing, the breath is always finding its way in, finding its way out.

Feast of the Annunciation

Art by J Kirk Richards

It’s the Feast of the Annunciation today. This potent moment has brought forth art that is compelling, inspiring, laden with mystery, grace, beauty, truth because it’s a living moment, a moment outside of the constricts of time, a moment that happens again and again not only within us, but more intimately *as* us. We’re drawn to what we know. And more potent still, we’re known by what we know.

I’ve written about the Annunciation in the past as the moment Mary confronts the magnificence and inviolate truth of her own creativity. The word, Annunciation, is rooted in the word, announcement, with close ties to the word, enunicate, all of which hold within them the power of voice.

To have direct access to our creative voice, to allow its birth, is to be birthed ourselves. And birth is...well, ask any mother. Birth is like nothing you could ever possibly imagine, a dance of extremes, pain and love, gravity and grace, a place where scream becomes song, where one brushes up against mortality and life, strength and vulnerability in equal parts.

I imagine all of these qualities to be present as Mary comes face to face with the inevitability of her own creative birth. I love this depiction by J Kirk Richards. There’s so much earth and fire here. Mary isn’t wearing the blue cloak we so often see but a brown one. Robed in the earth of her being she kneels. Her mouth is loose, slightly open, relaxed.

In the birth process, a relaxed mouth directly correlates to a relaxed cervix. And when the cervix is ready to allow the mother to begin pushing, she is called, effaced. Effaced, to make oneself inconspicuous, to withdraw. I think it’s no coincidence that effacement is a word to describe self awakening into the Beloved.

But imagine it. A moonless, starless night, a solitary Mary, a rush of wings, a blaze of light, a night-sky washed gold with radiance, an embrace at once fierce and tender, a confusion, a terror, a surrender as the sharp in-drawing of breath, of pneuma, of spirit is received. This is the moment she says Yes, accepts the imperative to create, accepts her soul’s fiat to bring the Beloved forth from the very heart of her being.

Our journey is Hers and she gives us an intimate map of that journey, whispers to us, 'we are each others' unfolding'. In our longing to awaken each of us must confront the fact of our own annunciation, each of us must come face to face with the fact of our own Gabriel, the inevitability of our own Yes. And so the Beloved meets each of us as She finds us bearing the good news that compassion with oneself is the midwife of creativity, that awakening and creativity inter-are. That we are God's love-drenched Yes.

Mysteries of Mary Tarot

Mysteries of Mary Tarot by Hettienne Groebler

After a very long wait this deeply compelling deck, The Mysteries of Mary Tarot, arrived on my birthday. The timing couldn't have been more perfect, absolutely the best day it could have arrived. It felt as if Mother Mary had been waiting for that specific day all along, to give me the gift of Herself, the Mother who births us all. Her arrival made a beautiful day luminous.

Shining with the Tribe

It's been awhile since I've blogged. Most of my input happens on IG which is more of a visual platform than a written one. Not that that deters me lol. This reading however merited a longer post accompanied by my aspiration to back into more regular blogging. My deck choices of late have been focused on the Motherpeace, Shining Tribe, Tarot of the Crone, and the like. This morning's reading came from the Rachel Pollack's Shining Tribe Tarot. And what a potent reading it was. I used a three-card spread created by Rachel Pollack herself.

Shining Tribe Tarot by Rachel Pollack

Spiritual History ~ The Hermit
Spiritual Challenge ~ Two of Birds🦉
Spiritual Gift ~ Nine of Rivers

Rachel defines the Spiritual History position as an archetypal pattern we've been living out to arrive at the present moment. Pulling that Hermit card was right on point. I’m a double Hermit, soul and personality card. I’m a Virgo rising, The Hermit’s ruling sign, and I’m in a Hermit year birth-wise. So to pull it for spiritual history felt utterly accurate. Honestly I have the felt-experience of traveling across lifetimes as this archetype, a mountain range of incarnations. It’s lonely and rich, both.

The Hermit ~ Shining Tribe Tarot

Loving the imagery here, a bird-being joyously ascending a hill holding a staff with a Goddess head carved into it. The sacred feminine both leading and supporting the seeker. And this Hermit’s body is an echo of the Shining Vision glyph (found throughout the deck) as is the landscape on which s/he stands and the blue flower on the hillside. I love this mirroring of earth and body, reiterating the reality that we aren’t separate, that awakening is an interdependence.

In this image the lantern we so commonly see The Hermit holding is to be found on the other side of the fabulous blue door carved into space. Implicit in the invitation to step through its threshold is the recognition and awareness of differing states of consciousness. This recognition contains within it the realization of movement as deeper truths are absorbed and embodied. Of course we are both door and lamp as well as the seeking of them in the same way that this Hermit’s body is a mirror of the landscape s/he travels.

In the position of Spiritual Challenge comes the Two of Birds aka Two of Swords in a traditional deck. The card in this position indicates a challenge or issues to face. I find it so interesting that in the first card a bird-being is the central focus and here in the second card there are two seemingly opposing bird-beings.

Two of Birds ~ Shining Tribe Tarot

There is tension here. It makes me think of what happens when two magnets are put together and they don't stick because they share the same charge. As if neither of these birds can move from their seeming opposition.

The snake wrapped around their ankles joining the two of them seems to hold the key. It feels like the staff in the first card, the feminine wisdom which guides and grounds. If they can access then movement, momentum is possible again. In terms of a spiritual challenge it feels like my relationship to the myth of duality, of a belief in a separate self and how that creates a sense of inner conflict, stasis and stress.

Snake is a totem and seeing her here feels like a vital piece of information. In terms of integration, that kundalini/Shakti energy is key. Snake's teachings on release of old 'skins, on transformation and womb/belly wisdom are a way through to a deeper understanding of and living in alignment with the Beloved within. This is interdependence.

Lastly in the position of Spiritual Gift comes the Nine of Rivers. It's an interesting image for a card normally associated with wish-making and granting and gift-giving, the fairy goddess-mother card is how I sometimes think of it.

Nine of Rivers ~ Shining Tribe Tarot

We see nine pots, eight of which have small cracks in them and liquid flowing out and one large pot  intact and full of a luminous elixir. Rachel describes it as the card of healing, acceptance of responsibility and rebuilding after a loss. There are themes of social awareness and helping out there, and concern to ease the suffering of others. What a powerful card to receive in this position of Spiritual Gift which she describes as the energy that will help with the challenges of the second card.

The dark blue water spilling from each of the eight broken pots brings me back to the dark blue door on the first card. Perhaps by embracing the dark blue cracks in our being, the schism of the Two of Birds, then the door into a more boundless sense of self becomes possible. That Hermit's lamp is waiting just beyond the dark blue door. It's like the ninth jar in this card, shining, luminous and whole.



This has been such a nourishing and surprisingly on point reading done on a whim with the app on my phone and then translated into the actual with my deck. This deck has become one of my top go-tos this year. I like it so much that it merited a special wrap which I knit up this week. Seeing it contained within my own work, a bit of red jasper tucked inside the ties, makes it feel all the more potent.

Five of Swords ~ Instinct and Intellect

Celestial Tarot by Kay Stevenson and Brian Clark

Censor the body and you censor breath and speech at the same time, writes Hélène Cixous in 'The Laugh of the Medusa.'

I've been reflecting on this phrase for a couple of months now. It came up a couple of months back when the Five of Swords was the card for that particular month. This depiction above, from the Celestial Tarot, shows us Pegasus, the divine winged horse, who was born from the severed head of Medusa. Censorship and severed heads have obvious, if visceral, points of intersection. And my subtitle for this card, the inner critic, carries on this theme of the silencing of voice. Medusa, with her hair of writhing snakes, could only be looked at with a mirror so deadening was her gaze. It's an interesting metaphor, reflection as a way in, the use of mirror, of indirect gaze as a tool for awakening.

Cioux writes in such a way as to leave the reader with questions as to the verity of this dark goddess's maligned nature. Censorship as the patriarchal silencing of feminine instinct, of kundalini energy, of uterine power. Not only does she draw a correlation between body and voice, implicit in her writing is the reality that body IS voice.

The Swords align with both communication and conflict. They represent the element of Air, the medium by which our spoken words are carried. Astrologically the Air trinity includes Gemini, Libra and Aquarius, each looking for its other half through relationship's mirror. One might look at the suit of Swords as the Earth longing to become aware, as a depiction of the seeming conflict between instinct and intellect.

Holding Cioux words in my awareness I lie down on the kitchen floor. The house is empty but for myself, the dogs and bird. I can see my limbs, breasts, belly, can sense sinew, muscle...all arranged on the worn wood surface, its uneven architecture lined up beneath me. Each pale strip holds stories, hollow and spacious like birds' bones, a poetics of emptiness. Feeling into the experience of censorship, of somatic censorship, that Cixous writes of here. Trying to find words for the flesh of the moment. And I realize that my throat is not big enough for this language that wants a skin.

Embodiment is a paradox. It’s a pilgrimage that ends ultimately in loss. There is no resolution in its mutable dialectic. Descending into the body is to grasp at the pages of transience while at the same time touching the limit of form. This tension mirrors the tension in all the Fives.

Soil and Stardust

Mesquite Tarot ~ Nature's Pharmacy Deck ~ Compendium of Constellations

It's a three-deck day today. Sometimes that's how it goes, the mind needs more rather than less to work with. I'm reminded of a teacher of mine who once shared that dull minds did well with complex meditation practices. I feel the truth in that today ;) Drawing from the newly published Mesquite Tarot along with the Nature's Pharmacy deck, put out by the New York Botanical Gardens and available on Amazon. It remains a favorite botanical deck for its simplicity and classic design. Pulling from the earth I decided to pull from the stars with the relatively new Compendium of Constellations. This turned out to be a relevant choice based on the qualities of the first card in my reading.

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Queen Ann's Lace🌿

Novice of Cups🏆

Four of Pentacles📀

Six of Pentacles📀

Sagitta 🏹

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Queen Anne's Lace is pretty spectacular. I know it best as the flowers that grew by the country roadsides and at the edges of meadows of my childhood. Its name inspired thoughts of castles, female magic, strength and beauty. Reading up on it now and I'm taken in by its presence, intelligence and generosity. Its large airy flower is shaped in such a way as to receive both air and light deep into its inner petals and radiate that energy back out. But its root system is equally impressive giving us the lowly and deliciously nutritious carrot! In short it's a balancer of soul and body, a mediator between upper and lower realms. 

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The Tarot's guidance begins with the Novice of Cups, the Page equivalent. Dipping my feet into the emotional realm suggests a titration of feelings, just enough to get my feet wet. The Four suggests I sit with those feelings silently, not to share until I'm ready which the Six then encourages me to do freely. This feels like more of an inner-outer ray than upper and lower and yet it keeps the theme of bridging two seeming polarities.

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Finally the stars offer me 'Sattiga', meaning arrow in Latin. Its keyword is 'Objective' suggesting two possibilities. One to consider what I'm aspiring towards and two to keep a spacious, non-judgmental attitude. This last bit is key, is integral to the alchemical process of becoming. Without space there's no room to grow, to see further, to be present to the amazement and complexities of the moment. 

Roses and Sun and Lions, Oh My!

Lioness Oracle Tarot by Alejandra Léon Wolfe Rocha

Just a short post to keep my foot in the blogging door. I've been working with the Lioness Oracle Tarot lately (available here) and really loving its feminine vibe, its depictions of the marriage of strength and receptivity. Today's question focused on a work-related proposal and the cards def came through. Seeing the Sun card my heart just sang. With its unapologetic claiming of vibrant space it elicits a similar response when looking at it. Radiant, strong, receptive and beautiful.

With Autumn just around the corner I imagine some of my more somber decks will make an appearance but for now this luminous beauty takes center stage. Leaving y'all with the blessings of The Sun.

Touchstone Tarot ~ Soul Work

Touchstone Tarot by Kat Black

This morning as I surveyed my decks I felt a restlessness. Not really interested in reading symbols, imagery, doing a spread for the day and so forth and none of my decks were calling to me. What was it I really wanted? And then came the words, an encounter with Soul. Yes, that was it! Something deeper than a surface reading, than using the usual map. And no sooner had this aspiration arisen than the Touchstone Tarot ,with its portraiture of soulful, evocative figures, leapt out as the deck to use. And oh my, it did not disappoint. 

From the top of the deck I drew The Hermit, from the bottom of the deck I drew the Three of Cups. The Hermit is both my soul and personality card according to Mary Greer's formula for calculating your cards using your birthdate. I also happen to be in a Hermit year based on the same birthdate calculations so seeing this card come up felt juicy, real, magical. I felt heard. Which is what we all want in the end, isn't it.

The Hermit ~ Touchstone Tarot

This particular Hermit is full of earthy and ethereal magic. I immediately noticed how his hand seems to be gently releasing the women in the Three of Cups, with the graceful kind of touch that we see in da Vinci's Hand of God painting. And sure enough he meets them, transformed, into Owl, Stag and Cat. His eyes are closed here suggesting a different kind of vision is needed to navigate the inner realms. And his yellow lantern swinging by his midsection speaks to me of third chakra work, the solar plexus, seat of power, will and mental acuity. No coincidence that yesterday I drew a card focused on this chakra in relation to body work I've been doing. 

What this card speaks to for me, is the necessity of acknowledging the animal body, its instinctual wisdom, its strength, its intuitive knowing. There is such movement here with the tilt of his head, the gesture of his left hand, the swing of the lantern and drape of his robes. And yet there is presence in that movement, awareness and receptivity. 

This is precisely where I find myself. Working with the body in this slow, quiet, receptive way. Opening to its language, a different kind of listening is being asked of me. It's new territory, to be attentive, gentler to this body. I'm pulling from several different traditions and teachers as I find my way, often in the dark but with the will to know, to learn to really want to inhabit it more. Solar Plexus energy is fire, it's digestion and assimilation. Mine has been compromised for various reasons and this is an area I really find myself needing to dig deep. The number Three of the Cups card underscores this chakra work for me. It's definitely inner work, a pulling in and back from things. 

Three of Cups ~ Touchstone Tarot

These three women here feel very inclusive in their communion. There is a place for me here to participate in their quiet joy. Those three feminine bodies within, Maiden/Mother/Crone, feel welcoming. Their gazes are full of the mystery of what it is to be human, to share, to be a woman. They're not giving much away and yet what they o offer is full of presence and depth. Just the kind of energy I wanted to meet today. Quiet, unassuming and powerful. All the blue suggests throat chakra energy, giving voice to connection, to joy.

It's not as though this pair of cards are the arrival, more that they are part of the process, that of listening in to what is being asked for, what is needed in the moment and moving from there. Rather than giving me concrete answers it feels as though the cards have gathered round me, have offered me a container, a mirror and way in. And they've done so with beauty, with grace and with gravitas. 

I shall be sitting with them for a while, working with them, listening to their guidance, their mysteries and poetry. Sometimes it's not about the answer but more about the question that begins the journey. 

Ophidia Rosa Tarot

Ophidia Rosa Tarot by Nicole Rallis

A new deck has found its way into my sub-collection of botanical-inspired decks. I love these kinds of decks both for their artwork and the energy that the plants bring to readings. Perhaps the most well-known is The Herbal Tarot by Michael Terra. This is a lovely deck that is very RWS influenced but with the addition of plant medicine for each card. The colors are bright and bold and the illustrations have a simplicity and purity to them that makes them easy to read.

This latest deck, the Ophidia Rosa Tarot is done by the same artist, Nicole Rallis, who did the Pythia Botanica Oracle which came out last year and there is even more attention to detail in this Tarot deck. The packaging is gorgeous. The box is sturdy with lovely white ink drawings on a black inside. From the moment you open this deck you have the sense of its refined, elegant feminine energy.

All the cards are tea stained (as is the case with her Pythia Botanica Oracle) and the pen and ink drawings are beautifully subtle with just the hint of color here and there in deep roses and dark teals. The hand drawn borders just right, card stock is a good thickness and she's gone the extra mile by having it edged in matte gold. This last detail gives such a graceful, vintage feeling to the deck.

The overall effect is one of quality, subtlety and beauty. It arrived on the Full Rose Moon and this synchronicity was not lost on this Rose. I worked with her for a full Moon reading that night and the simple three card spread has stayed with me.

Full Rose Moon reading ~  Ophidia Rosa Tarot

A beginner would be challenged by this deck. And even seasoned readers might struggle with the lack of obvious symbolism. There is not much of an LWB, just a small pamphlet with a few poetic lines hinting at the essence of the card's energy. The plants aren't identified and at first I was put off by this. But a wonderful thing happens when you are forced to rely on a different layer of intelligence to receive the message.

Ophidia Rosa Tarot Majors

You can see the some of the Majors to the right here and how they are quite intuitively rendered. The creator describes it on her website like this :: The Ophidia Rosa Tarot came to be over a year-long period, cared for and pondered through four seasons of natural change. While framed by the tarot's ancient tradition and structure, my botanical world―full of such transformation, from the soil to the seedling, the sprout and the bloom―placed an emphasis on change bursting forth all around me. 

Something more intuitively tangible was born of the tarot, where even the phases of the moon and the mysterious, serpentine movements of creatures in the garden brimmed with a power for prophecy, contemplation, redemption and a quest. Each of these 78 cards―the full Major and Minor arcana―draws on the tarot's timeworn truth carried closer to home. There's always something growing in our hearts, transforming ourselves and our visions, from the soil to the stars.

Her description very much conveys the atmosphere and energy of the deck. It’s a bit like coming upon an old wooden gate, covered over with trellised roses and vines and pushing it open to step inside a wild landscape that lives according to the ancient rhythms of light and shadow, rain and wind. I've been working with the deck for a couple of weeks now and am very much enjoying my readings with it. They are definitely not traditional interpretations of the cards, and yet something of the energy of the card remains.

Morning tea with the Ophidia Rosa Tarot 

It lends itself beautifully to intuitive readings, guidance that one wouldn't normally get from a traditional deck. For example last week I was feeling fairly off. I'd taken a Tylenol earlier for a headache that was hovering around the edges but it wasn't really doing it. I had an event of my son's to attend later that night and I needed to feel my best in order to support him. So I decided to consult the cards on what might be needed in the moment.

Looking at this Five of Pentacles I was immediately drawn to the flower at the base, it's roundedness and solidity. I had the sense of pulling my energy in and down, creating a little haven to sit and breathe in. 

Root chakra yoga came to mind and so I closed the door to my office, pulled out some root chakra singing bowl music and spent a bit of time breathing into the earth of my body, drawing the energy away from my head.

It worked beautifully and isn't the guidance that I'd normally get reading this card with its image of a church and two ragged and destitute figures struggling to get by in a cold and unforgiving urban snowscape.

All in all I'm very happy with this deck and feel it will be one that will be in regular use...as regular use as is possible with a lot of decks in one's collection. Further information on the deck including how to purchase it can be found here on the artist's website, LeilaOlive.

Four of Cups ~ The Borderlands

Tarot of the Hidden Realm by Julia Jeffrey

Several weeks ago the Four of Cups swam into my awareness as one of those conundrum cards. You know the ones I mean. You understand the symbolism, you grok the traditional interpretation no probs but you feel like you're missing the deeper themes it speaks to. It's been my experience that holding the misunderstood card as a question and letting it live at the edges of my awareness without the need to analyze it eventually yields the kind of resonance I'm looking for. It's as if it takes on a kind of somatic reality that gradually trickles up to my mental reality.

Universal Waite by Pamela Coleman Smith
recolored by Mary Hanson-Roberts

And such was the case with the Four of Cups. Traditionally we see a figure seated at the base of a tree, arms crossed, three cups before him, one being divinely offered. On his face is a look of several possible realities, boredom, daydreaming, self absorption, disinterest, contemplation. It never really rang true to leave it at that surface level. But I was never able to get too far with it beyond this, at least not into something that felt resonant.

Tarot of the Hidden Realm by Julia Jeffrey

Enter this version from the Tarot of the Hidden Realm with its gorgeous and lyrical depiction of a selkie at the moment she is leaving behind her human body to transform into a seal and suddenly there it was, the deeper message. The level of her apprehension at taking up full embodiment in either realm is palpable. Leaving behind the riches of her Fey world is as daunting as not being able to swim freely in the ocean's currents. And it's this ambivalence that I think speaks to the heart of the card.

This is a card of navigating the liminal realms. Its geography is the borderlands, the edges. It speaks to a deep ambivalence towards incarnation, towards manifestation, towards the present moment. Betwixt and between is the phrase that comes to mind, and with it the suffering and isolation that ensues from such a state.





As I was musing on this very familiar state, on my own sometimes ambivalence at being present, occasionally at being in a body at all, I wondered at the possible reasons for it. The word perfectionism swam up to greet my inquiry. Yes, I imagine that is at the heart of things, an ideal so high that it's impossible to reach and therefore one spends a lot of time roaming, neither in the "imperfect" world of form nor the unattainable ideal world of, well, ideals. I dunno, for me this touches on subjects and themes that feel soul-oriented, that are questions I'm holding this lifetime. How often am I absent from the moment, from life, from myself?

The way the figure is seated at the base of the tree in the traditional depiction of this card gives me the sense that root chakra work would be a wonderful way to begin the slow and steady process of incarnation, of coming to terms with being here, now. Spending time with my back against a solid tree, feeling its roots spreading out beneath me, the ground supporting me. All of these bring the body into the present moment of sensation, of feeling and noticing. Perhaps even spending a bit of time each day connecting this way would go a long way to redress the imbalance between ether and earth. And I think when this card comes up for me now I'll have a much better sense of its message, not only emotionally but also somatically.

Tarot of the Hidden Realm by Julia Jeffrey

King of Cups ~ Wanderer, Worshipper, Lover of Leaving

King of Cups ~ Pagan Otherworlds Tarot

"Come, come whoever you are, wanderer, worshipper, lover of leaving, it doesn’t matter…”

These lines of Rumi's come to mind while journeying with this embodied king, his dominion the Waters of the Heart. Though the ocean swirls around him his bedrock is firm, his feet large and capable. The water stains on the rock tell of his own emotional experiences, he’s not been untouched by Love’s arrows, he, too, has been marked but he has achieved a perspective, his station borne now of mastery. He may not choose to get involved with the minutiae but he’s aware of it all, sees it all. The musculature of his body tells stories of strength and experience.

This is a king of complexity, perhaps even ambiguity. He’s less interested in answers than questions and process. The ermine fur on his cape speaks both of his royalty and his animal nature, his humanity. And the graceful folds of his robes speak of sensitivity and grace, a refinement that he wears with ease. The luxurious lines and drape of the cloth over his knees echo this, there is a hint of gravitas in their weight, introspection, his body capable of sinking into the more sober qualities of the feeling realm and meeting them with sovereignty, with equanimity.

His upper body, as he leans in to bare his heart which is, after all, a muscle, echoes a particular stage in the whirling dervish ceremony known as the Sema, which means to hear. In the very last stage of the Sema the Sheikh stands in the center of the floor with all the dervishes turning on their own around him in the outer circle. The Sheikh makes exactly the gesture this King of Cups makes, he grasps his robe, lowers his head slightly towards his heart, the only altar there is, really, and he begins to turn very slowly. It’s a tremendously moving sight to witness this expression of sober love amidst the ecstatic turning of the dervishes. And one feels intimately that he is holding space for not only his dervishes but for the hearts of the world. He is the sun around which all the planets spin…Love as centripetal force.

Just so with this King. He leans in, he inclines his ear, he listens for that steady under-rhythm of love, he grasps his robe, his heart is bared and one can almost feeling him turning slowly, slowly, slowly, master of Love. The ocean, the Source, contains and witnesses him. It is both his arrival and return. As it is for each of us.

Five of Swords ~ Travels with the Inner Critic

The Wild Unknown Tarot by Kim Krans ~ The Crystal Oracle by Toni Salerno

The month is coming to a close and the Five of Swords, my card of the month, has made itself quite comfortable in my inner landscape. Thanks to this version above I've taken to calling it the Five of Worms lol. When it appears in a reading for me it usually means the inner critic, the inner bully, is on the premises. The rose quartz mala and red jasper oracle card are incidental, necessary embellishments, distractions even to the starkness of this depiction of segmented worms. Though both of these stones with their qualities of loving kindness and strengthening and stamina, are very useful when working with the inner judge.

Tarot of the Sweet Twilight by Cristina Benintende

In WU depiction of the Five of Swords we see a worm's body, surrounded by sharp-edged swords, that has been severed by the largest blade. Those unspoken cutting remarks we make to ourselves, the conditioned responses, this is how wholeness disintegrates, how the Self becomes fractured. When trust has been betrayed the body follows suit in its own intelligent way. And until that trust has been restored wholeness is a concept. It has to begin at a cellular level.

In the Tarot of the Sweet Twilight we see a visual representation of this kind of somatic disintegration. Heads have been removed, bodies are missing parts, the main figure has got several different voices running her rampant, her lower body is at odds with her upper body. This is the inner critic at her finest, creating somatic chaos in a landscape that depicts the wasteland that this voice lives in. Bleak, depleted of life, sere and inhabitable only by those who lack sensitivity. 

Tarot of the Hidden Realm by Julia Jeffrey

Perhaps one of the most stark representations of this inner bullying quality of the Five of Swords is from the Tarot of the Hidden Realm. While the guidebook places this figure on the defensive I tend to see her as the face of my own inner bitch. She's got a kind of wild, seductive beauty, her crow familiars whirl around her and the haziness of her realm all feel familiar to me. Once that voice gets going it's hard to stop.

However this is the Swords suit, the suit of Air of the mental realm and it's helpful to remember that all of this is an internal process. 

It's interesting to note her stance, rigid, fight-or-flight response. No equilibrium can come from that, nor can any somatic messages get through. Everything is constricted in almost Eight of Swords like way.

Vision Quest Tarot ~ Crystal Visions Tarot ~ Herbal Tarot

I've included the three cards to the left in my month-long study as they've given me some valuable information and tools. 

The Vision Quest Tarot by Gayan Sylvie Winter and Jo Dosé gives this card the title, Fear. And it's a good reminder to note that beneath all that posturing fear is the foundation. 

When I ask myself the questions, Fear of what? There are several responses that come to mind but all of them come down to love, really, or a lack thereof. 

The middle card from the Crystal Visions Tarot by Jennifer Galasso has a Three of Swords-like feel to it with two of the Swords having been stabbed into the back of the figure with the bully walking away. That this figure is all dressed in white speaks to me of her trusting, innocent nature, that inner child within us who wouldn't suspect anyone of wanting to harm us, to bring us down. A little bird perches on one of the Swords in a poignant attempt at comfort. Thankfully she has looked round and is able to acknowledge it. Someone in her court. Every little bit of positivity counts here.  Finally the Herbal Tarot by Candace Cantin and Michael Tieris offers an herbal ally for this card in the form of Mistletoe. It is a plant of protection and we know it best as something for lovers to kiss under. But it was sacred to the Druids, used in ceremony and vision and medically is a heart tonic herb. This last gives me a clue as to what qualities to bring to the table where the inner critic sits.

Tarot of Transformation ~ J. L. Cori and Willow Arlenea

Looking at the depiction of the WU I sensed this month's focus might take shape around being aware of the somatic effects the inner critic has. More body work, more art, more immersion in the earth realm.  There has been some of this this month, more than usual as a result of this card, I think. The worm is guardian of the Earth, aerating the soil, turning it, fertilizing it as well as being nourished by it. Because they are segmented they're capable of regeneration if their body has been cut in two. All of this feels wonderfully restorative and hopeful. 

There are also a whole host of phrases that come to mind here...'getting my hands dirty', 'doing the dirty work' 'finding my ground' They bring a wonderfully embodied element to this card of the Air. For the place where the prima materia awaits the light of our own awareness. Holding the Vision, the title of the card at right, is key.

Five of Wands ~ Friction Dances

World Spirit Tarot ~ Lauren Onça O'Leary

It all hinges on that annoying Five of Wands which continues to make appearances in my daily draws. So done with seeing this energy show up but apparently not done enough says Spirit. What's interesting here though is the theme of two--two Wands, two combatants, and the two vessels Temperance pours from. In my experience Two speaks to thresholds. The Two of Wands and Temperance mirror that quality and each other beautifully. But that pesky Five stands between them, between the self that is a channel ready to manifest energy and that healing energy going out actively, intentionally into the world.

Sigh. Not only has this card has appeared so often lately but today's draw speaker to deeper themes I'm working with. Fives are all about stagnant energy, energy built up by resistance and fear such that its outlet has been externalized either as friction that radiates outwards as in the Swords and Wands or internalized as victim in the Cups and Pents. Either way the gathering nexus of energy is the ego's contraction, its need to defend/protect itself.

The Dance of Healing

Thankfully Temperance has chosen to step in here to remind me of a deeper/wider perspective. That this is a Major speaks to archetypal energies that are at play within, often times energies that we have less influence over than we might in the Minors.

The two Wands here become two combatants as a result of shadow energy getting hold of the raw potential in that initial card. It's not given any room to manifest, blocking the flow, literally. Step out of the way and allow it, which is to say, let yourself move through the world of earth and water, body and heart, with ease. But perhaps more importantly let that world move through you, through the two vessels of your wisdom and compassion, your intention and manifestation. Sometimes the very movement itself is the healing agent.

My draw from the Devas of Creation deck by Cilla Conway today was the Deva of Spring and its body language mirrors Temperance so beautifully that I couldn't help but notice it. Clearly they are different rays from the same etheric tribe. Spring brings with it new eyes, a vision that is suddenly alive to color, to detail--the pink flame of cherry blossom, the tiny bud. This kind of presence with the wonder of the burgeoning moment is medicine that restores, that heals. And all over the city here the cherry blossoms are alive to remind me of that, sending out their gorgeous song of hope and heart. Pink, pink, pink everywhere...

When Truth becomes Trope

World Spirit Tarot ~ Lauren Onça O'Leary

"What you seek is seeking you."

This oft-quoted line of Rumi's filtered through my awareness as I contemplated this morning's draw. So often when truth becomes trope the tendency is to gradually stop hearing it. And that is the case with this line. I came upon Rumi's poetry 25 years ago and immersed myself in its dazzle and passion. Now Mevlana is everywhere. It's wonderful that his message of universality, of Love's effacing power, and the dance with the Beloved is so prevalent. And it also means that for me the dazzle has dimmed considerably.

Vagabond Heart

But writing about something often breathes new life into it so....What exactly, or if not exactly then thematically am I seeking? Honestly at this point in my life the question feels...so innocent. But the cards offer me a way in. Clearly there is the desire to refind the lineage of simple joy, an embodiment of the teachings of wonder, fresh-eyes, warmth. The most compelling figure in this trio of cards is the beautiful white horse that the Seeker of Cups rides. It echoes the archetypal energies of the unicorn in the Sun card.

I love the way the horse is so attuned to its rider as to be focused on the Cup the Seeker is looking at with equal intensity. The curve of its neck, its solidly planted legs, partially in and partially out of the stream, as if to say I can help you navigate earth and water, the body and the heart. And the openness of the Seeker's throat chakra, so wide, so spacious, so receptive. And the rolling hills, flowing water and sky-swirled heavens mirroring the wild ride of the heart. They are utterly immersed here, both rider and horse.

It's true that the more I go along in life the more my own horse feels so important, that which carries me...body, intention, momentum. All of these things feel integral to the journey, in fact they are the journey at this point, as well as arrival. More and more it feels like I am it.

Shine!

The Sun, here, is so raw, so full, so viscerally alive with life and light. Again it's the creature who draws my eye, the beautifully strong unicorn whose head is bowed in service to the light, to its rider, to the moment. The sunflowers open as they pass, and the sun itself one giant sunflower in bloom. 

It's a lovely thought to imagine this is seeking me. And it gives a slightly different spin on things to phrase it this way, less that I'm trying to move away from shadow/negativity/despair and more that light is searching me out. Like two lovers moving closer and closer to each other to finally collide into each others' arms. 

And finally we have The Hierophant, holder of tradition, lineage, interpreter of the Oracle, confidante of the High Priestess. While she is the Mystery, he is the Teachings. He fosters the spiritual growth of his community much the way The Emperor looks to the secular lives of his subjects. 

The Hierophant is much maligned, IMO, and I've always had and continue to have a good relationship with him. I like that he is seeking me out, through of the energies of Brilliance, Joy and the Vagabond Heart. These are all wonderful qualities to see one along the path. Here he is portrayed as an Aztec priest. His finger pointing to the sky, and flaming torch bring to mind Moses, that great desert dervish. His supplicants kneel, not so much to him, as to the earth he stands on, the ground of being that we all share. An opportunity to place one's forehead on the Mother is a sacred one. The dervishes do this before any whirling they do as reminder of the ground of being, that which supports us, that which we all share. The Earth is humility Herself and when I place my own forehead on the ground I do so with the sense of receiving teachings from a great Wisdom-Holder. She is seeking me, she is seeking me...

Interpreter of the Oracle

The Heart Is Her Hermitage

World Spirit Tarot ~ Lauren Onça O'Leary

I've been really enjoying the revised World Spirit Tarot lately. Something so muscular and earthy about the imagery. This morning's draw focused on a theme for today and how to work with it. I pulled the Ace of Cups and The Hermit respectively.

First off, a female Hermit 💙Being a double Hermit myself and now two days into my 'Hermit Year' I was thrilled to see this card appear. That my first Hermit card is depicted as a woman feels so...auspicious, so affirming. I don't usually ascribe positions to my daily draws rather I tend to read the overall energy. But this morning's question of the day's theme, formulated itself. Seeing the Ace of Cups had me doing a metaphorical happy dance. And this one is so resonant.

~ Opening ~

A mythic yoni serves as gateway to this energy, energy that is receptivity and offering both. If the Soul were to have a shape I think it would be this cup, this bowl-like form. The Soul itself as the emptiness that shapes the cup as well as the potential that fills it. Form and emptiness continually in dialogue, in partnership with each other. 

The LWB gives the card the title, Opening, and this is a lovely way to work with this energy. Being the opening, opening to, opening for...so many ways to experience opening. How often am I truly open, how often do I open into, how often do create an opening for another? These are good questions for my hermetic self to reflect on.

And implicit in opening is softening, is vulnerability which is perhaps why it so often feels easier to give than to receive, easier to observe than open into. 

The way to work with the magnitude of this universal, creating, softening energy, say the cards, is through The Hermit. If the Ace of Cups is the doorway to the inner world she has internalized this knowledge, lives the truth that Love is what holds atoms together, is what generates form and the necessary outbreath of its absence. As I continue my chakra work I'm drawn to her lantern, its yellow glow shining directly from her solar plexus chakra whose color is also yellow. As if to say, while she is solitary and removed from the hustle of life she has full ownership and awareness of her personal power as it is used in service to something larger than herself.

Her hermitage is the Heart.

I love her expression, a blend of crone and maiden. She wears red shoes that have seen many travels. Their color makes me think of the amount of will required to stay true to a path so...at odds with the norm. Each day is virgin, opportunity to remember the path, to live the vows of wisdom and compassion, the laws of interdependence, to be in the world but not of it. Her hermitage is the Heart, her wanderings take her through her inner landscape, its peaks and valleys, its caves and meadows. 

And do you see the little rabbit sitting at her feet? As a Rabbit myself I can't help but feel a resonance here. I associate them with the goddess, with fertility, travel, community and refined energy. 

I love the inclusion of this energy, as if to say far from being a dry, lonely path the path of the Hermit is rich with the creativity of Beloved, it is generative and active and subtle and above all it is a path of love, of joy.

Meeting Resistance with Kindness

Aquarian Tarot ~ The Moon Deck

This morning I felt drawn to work with the Aquarian Tarot But after pulling these two guys and finding no juice with them I decided to look at the top and bottom card of the deck. Sigh. More of the same masculine energy in the Page of Rods and Knight of Ps. My resistance to their presence on my altar was palpable. Nothing poetic to work with here, no roadways into these two closed books, is how it felt. Drew the rest of my cards all the while aware of skirting the edges of these two intractables.

Clearly they had work for me 😆 So in a last ditch effort I reached for The Moon Deck and asked for an affirmation to use with my reaction to these cards. I laughed out loud when I saw the response, 'Resistance'. But honestly reading the affirmation, 'I meet resistance with kindness', turned it all around for me. I didn't realize my absence of kindness until being given this permission. Oh, kindness, you mean I have a choice, some volition here around how I treat my knee-jerk reactions?

The ritual suggested for this card is the yoga pose seen here, Tarasana aka Star Pose. I hopped on the mat immediately and spent some time in this pose, occasionally offering up the affirmation. It was a wonderful release and loosening of the tightness and emotion held in my body, to allow myself to relax my grip on my resistance a bit. It's fascinating how the body tells the real story. 

After a bit of time and space elapsed I was able to go back to the two cards with curiosity and interest. Looking at their own body language gave me a clue into my own reaction. The Page has turned his back entirely on the King. This King is a master of creative imagination. He inspires spiritually and artistically and has the talent of being able to easily influence others around him simply with his charm and positivity. I know someone like this and he's very persuasive, managing to get what he wants and make everyone feel good in the process. But the shadow side of this card has to do with arrogance, self-centeredness and a hot temper. 

Looking at the Page, who is clearly just starting out on his journey to mastery, I can see why he'd be wary of this King.  He is still in the process of developing his creative power. He's a serious student, dedicated and not interested in distractions as we see him steadily gazing at the object of his meditations. Clearly the King is a wild card to his security-oriented, perhaps overly-focused self. Where do I fit in here? I feel both of these energies within me, and both of the frustrations that might arise from each of them towards the other. They have something to learn from each other. Which leaves me with the question, what does my own imaginative and visionary self have to learn from this sober, serious plodder? Fire and Earth, how might they best work together? 

Periwinkle : The Earth's Polaris

Periwinkle ~ Plant Ally Cards ~ Nature's Pharmacy Deck

Today's plant ally is Periwinkle. The very sound of this plant, the way the syllables feel when I say them silently or aloud make something in me wake up and wonder.

My attunement to the plant realm is an area of slow growth. It doesn't come naturally to me. As a writer and poet I'm more comfortable in the realms of the intangible and formless, of words and their offspring. But I recognize this as an imbalance and the need for descent so I'm apprenticing myself to the earth and its details as best as I am able. That means the body, it means loam and trees, plants and flowers. It means patience, humility and the discipline and limit of form.

When I can find a natural way in to any part of the green kingdom I run with it. If it's the sound a plant's name makes within I don't quibble with the logic of magic. I like what Harold Roth has to say about this plant: This Water and Venus plant is considered protective, especially amongst the Celts, and is often referred to as the Violet of the Sorcerers. It has the ability to reinspire love and is usually associated with the past, whether that be past love or memories. In Eastern European systems, it stands for eternal love and was planted on graves. Agrippa associated this magick herb with the the north star, Polaris, which is the fixed star known as the tail of the Lesser Bear (Little Dipper). You can see the steadfastness sought through love magick found in the steady guiding light of this star, so you can consider that periwinkle has the characteristic of being steadfast and trusty. 

I like this idea of an association with the heaven realm, a dialogue between earth and sky. The Plant Ally cards ascribe the quality of Clarity to this plant. One of the French words for light is 'claire' and with all the little stars on the plant the presence of Polaris, of guiding light is evident. The 'winkle' part of the plant's name is so close to the word for what stars do, twinkle. And perhaps that's what has drawn me in to this plant, its shimmering quality, its playful quality, its quixotic movement.

Periwinkle ~ Nature's Pharmacy Deck 

The Nature's Pharmacy deck is not an oracle deck but rather a compilation of beautiful paintings from the New York Botanical Garden's collection. It ascribes no qualities to the plants but instead provides valuable information in the form of the plant's history, some of its uses, its latin name, plant family and origin. The information is done in elegant script as you can see above. The botanical name for this plant, Vinca major comes from the Latin vincire which means to bind. Approaching a plant etymologically is one of the ways I find my way into its deeper message. To bind is a word that brings to mind both positive and negative associations. It's a tactile word. I think of rope, I think of hand fasting, I think of climbing towards something using a rope, hand over blistered hand. It's a visceral word. 

I'm drawn in to the purple, color of the third eye chakra, of royalty and extravagance, of amethyst and the heaven realms. Perhaps its the mix of heaven and earth present in this plant that speak to me. It's where my current focus is, trying to bring those two together in a more balanced partnership, perhaps even the sense of binding them into a seamlessness of body and spirit. For today though it's enough to be aware of its color, the shape of its leaves, its graceful root system, seen above. All these are the tangible realities of this plant. And as it guides me through my day I'm curious to see if its starry-petaled self slips into my dream realm also.